Martin Luther: Why He Loved His Wife

Martin Luther: Why He Loved His Wife

The previous Blog dealt with we men as the Prophet, Priest, and King of our houses, with primary application toward our children. This Blog is aimed at us as husbands, whose primary job to our wife is to love them, and I am using Martin Luther's very human thoughts as a husband to encourage us in our duty.

God says: "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;" Eph 5:25 

Martin Luther said this about his wife Katharina von Bora, whom he referred to as "her lord Katie:"

I would not trade my Kate for France and Venice for three reasons:  1) Because God has given her to me and me to her, 2) I have seen, time and again, that other women have more faults than my Kate, 3) She is a faithful marriage partner; she is loyal and has integrity

Let each of we men think of our wives in the same way; ladies, be that kind of women.

But this Blog is not about Katharina von Bora, nor to you ladies, it is to encourage we men to think of our wives as Luther did of his. I am well aware that in some marriages this will be near to impossible, but men, let us remember that we are love our wives as Christ loves the Church, and we are well aware of what we are as sinners, yet Christ loves us.

Our job is to love them "in spite" of what they are, just as Christ loves us "in spite" of what we are.

Cut your wife a break, you will get more with honey than vinegar!

The fact that Luther would say "I would not trade my Kate," shows that at times he DID think about trading her in! We are all human; the best of men are men at best, or as David said:

"Behold, thou hast made my days as an hand breadth; and mine age is as nothing before thee: verily every man at his best state is altogether vanity. Selah" Psa 39:5 

But when Luther thought things he should not, like "trading Kate in for a new wife," he then countered those wrong and sinful thoughts with the three (3) reasons why he would not trade her in.

Luther counters his wrong thoughts with facts!

Let us look at each of these facts, and strengthen ourselves to do the same.

1) Because God has given her to me and me to her

Think of how the Lord brought you and your wife together! Do you believe in "luck" or "fate" or do you believe that God sovereignly orders the affairs of our lives? I believe he orders the affairs of our lives, down to numbering the hairs on my head; not counting them, numbering them! And he inclines a certain man and a certain woman to love each other; that is of God, and that is very good!

Your wife is your "Eve," made just for you, and God does not make mistakes!

And notice Luther also says "and me to her." He was aware it is not one-sided. God made him for her.

God made you for her, as much as he made her for you. It is not Ray and Cheryl, it is Ray-Cheryl, a unique, one-entity "hybrid," very much paralleling the Trinity! Three yet one; one yet three.

We are two yet one, one yet two.

That is why Jesus said, "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." Mat 19:6 

2) I have seen, time and again, that other women have more faults than my Kate

I love Luther because he is real! Kate was not perfect. He knew it. And he makes the observation, that while she is not perfect, she is better that many other wives.

Compare your wife to other women, and while she is not perfect, and of course neither are you, never forget that she is better for you, that she better complements you, than any other woman around.

Consider all of the excellent characteristics of your wife, the reasons why you married her to begin with, and you will see, she excels all other women.

When you look at other women, in their totality, do not look at their fine points, look at their faults; but when you look at your wife, do not look at her faults, look at her fine points. If you do that, it will keep you from many foolish thoughts, and you will say as Luther "other women have more faults than my Kate."

3) She is a faithful marriage partner; she is loyal and has integrity

We often think of "faithful" only in terms of adultery, but it also includes a wife's "hitching her wagon to yours" and not pursuing her dreams and goals, but subjecting them to yours.

Eve was told this would be one of her burdens to bear:

"Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." Gen 3:16 

The phrase "and thy desire shall be to thy husband," is not so much that Eve would "want" Adam, as much as that her desires would be "subject" to his.

Ladies, there is no question that it is hard to be subject to a sinner!, yet in God's economy, he made Eve "for" Adam to be his "helper," and that assigned role includes your goals and desires to be subject to what God has for your husband.

Now, this does not give a husband the right to be a tyrant, and a wise husband, guided by Pro 31, will give his wife full and free reign, as Luther did his Kate, to be "her lord Kate" in her God assigned sphere, running the house, which means running the entire domestic economy, as spelled out in Pro 31.

Luther loved Kate because she was faithful to him to run the Luther house-hold, which furthered the work God had given to Martin. Kate's job was to facilitate Martin doing the job God had given to him. Isn't that what we all do at our jobs? My job is to make you more productive in your job! Bosses serve their employees, making them more productive, by providing good working conditions and the proper tools. The operating room nurse's job is to make sure the surgeon gets the right instruments, right when he needs them, so he can do his job correctly, and the patient lives. The nurse serves the surgeon. Why in the domestic realm is that so hard?

Men if you have a wife who embraces that mindset, bless God for her ever day, and love her more for that. She is faithfully fulfilling her God given role.

Do not criticize her; do not tell her what to do; give her the ball, and let her go with it!

Kate followed Martin, and stuck with him through all of the struggles he had. When he was attacked, she stuck with him, and defended him. When needed, she rebuked him, and when he was dead, kept right on doing what needed to be done, until she too died.

She was "faithful," she was loyal. God is the most loyal being in the universe; God will not leave us nor forsake us. She did not leave or forsake Martin Luther. What guy would not love a woman like that!

She had integrity. Integrity is "a firm adherence to a code of moral or artistic values" You can count on people of integrity, because they are guided by principles. They are consistent: the moral values do not change, so their conduct does not change.

Martin Luther could count on Kate because she was loyal and had integrity.

Wives like that are a true gift from God; husbands think of your wives, and love them for the God given gift they are.

9 September 2025